Not Safe For Work
venerdì 30 novembre 2018
SONIA E LA SUA PRIMA ESPERIENZA DI SESSO ESTREMO NEL SITO DI INCONTRI BDSM!
Mi chiamo Sonia ed dopo aver letto tutta la serie di 50 sfumature di grigio la mia mente ha iniziato a desiderare di approcciare al sesso in maniera alternativa, sebbene sono sposata e mi piace fare sesso con mio marito in modo tradizionale, ho un irrefrenabile voglia di trasgredire.
Così pochi giorni fa sono andata in cerca di qualcosa di forte sul web e mi sono soffermata a conoscere più nel dettaglio il Bdsm, ovvero la pratica sessuale che fa della dominazione verso il partner legato il suo elemento di punta. Dopo aver letto un po di forum e aver visto qualche video che mi hanno fatto venire una grande eccitazione, la mia voglia di sesso trasgressivo è andata aumentando e così ho deciso di cercare qualche ragazzo perverso per dare libero sfogo ai miei desideri erotici.
Seguendo le recensioni positive di tutti gli amanti del genere ho scoperto IncontriEstremi che è il sito di incontri BDSM più grande e più sicuro del web, per conoscere ragazzi che volessero giocare a letto con me!
Proprio in questa community ho avuto modo di conoscere alcune persone ma colui che ha rapito la mia mente già dalle prime conversazioni è stato Manuel, un italo-brasiliano che vive a Milano da oramai 3 anni. Siamo quasi coetanei entrambi vicino ai 30 e, anche se lui non aveva una relazione stabile mi ha assicurato che da parte sua non c’era il rischio di avere complicazioni sentimentali, dopo i primi scambi di battute per conoscerci le conversazioni sono diventate subito hot e siamo finiti a parlare di sesso con i nostri rispettivi partner e poi del Bdsm, pratica che lui già mette in pratica da circa un annetto!
Dopo avergli rivelato che ero assolutamente vergine sotto questo punto di vista, lui ci ha messo davvero poco a farmi comprendere che conoscendolo ed incontrandolo avrei iniziato ad amare questa pratica sessuale e sarebbe aumentato in me la voglia di fare sesso estremo.
Così dopo pochi giorni in cui rimanevamo a parlare nelle chat bdsm spinta dal desiderio e dalla curiosità ci siamo messi d’accordo per fissare un incontro in cui lui sarebbe stato il mio padrone e io la sua schiava!
Una volta incontrati mi sono ritrovata di fronte un ragazzo dalla carnagione abbastanza scura con capelli molto lunghi, fino a toccare le spalle, fisico scolpito e sorriso coinvolgente, c’è stato subito un gran feeling. dopo aver passeggiato e chiacchierato sulle sue prime esperienze di bondage mi ha proposto di appartarci per dare inizio alla mia avventura nel mondo del bdsm!
Appena entrati nell’appartamento mi ha portato subito a vedere la stanza del piacere come amava chiamarla lui dove dava vita alle sue pratiche bdsm e mi ha mostrato vari oggetti erotici, alcuni sinceramente non li conoscevo, nella mia mente mi sembrava di vivere dentro il romanzo di 50 sfumature di grigio e l’eccitazione stava prendendo il sopravvento!
Abbiamo iniziato a toccarci e stuzzicarci fino a quando lui ha iniziato a dominarmi rendendomi la sua schiava e facendomi così provare la mia prima esperienza bdsm!
Ogni suo ordine era legge io lo eseguivo senza batter ciglio e saliva in me una gran curiosità oltre che ha una grande eccitazzione che a stento riuscivo a controllare…
Ho indossato un intimo di pelle che sembrava fatto apposta per me, poi ha cominciato a toccarmi e a giocare con i vari oggetti erotici che possedeva. In pochi minuti era riuscito a pervadere la mia mente come nessun altro uomo aveva mai fatto prima ed ora con i suoi modi di fare decisi e gli oggetti che entravano dentro la mia figa, stava facendo si che anche il mio corpo iniziasse a cedere al piacere di queste tecniche così trasgressive.
Ero legata e immobilizzata al letto da manette di peluche e con delle grandi palline vaginali infilate nella mia fica sempre più bagnata con la mia testa non riuscivo a fare a meno di pensare a lui e di sentirlo dentro di me, mi veniva impossibile non gemere dal piacere e non mostrargli con lo sguardo quanto volevo che mi scopasse, lui mi girava attorno e mi dominava con tutto ciò che aveva a disposizione…
Quando ha iniziato ad usare i frustini mi sono ritrovata dentro ad un mondo che non pensavo potesse piacermi così tanto.
Dopo quasi un ora da schiava posso dire di aver goduto come mai nella mia vita e sono sicura che di esperienze del genere ne farò ancora sia con Manuel che con altri ragazzi conosciuti in chat bdsm perchè la cosa più bella e sperimentare sempre cose nuove e non aver legami sentimentali!
https://www.lostatosociale.it/incontri-bdsm/sonia-e-la-sua-prima-esperienza-incontri-bdsm.php
giovedì 29 novembre 2018
mercoledì 28 novembre 2018
Incontri BDSM: Ecco i Principi Base per Evitare Problemi o Fregature
Ecco come effettuare maniera corretta il semplice questo genere di incontri senza andare a finire in situazioni poco piacevoli da vivere in prima persona.
Cosa sono gli incontri BDSM
Questo genere di incontri identifica un tipo di rapporto in cui essere legati, subire delle percosse ed altri generi di pratiche similari sono presenti in grande quantità e caratterizzano questo genere di rapporto.
Questo particolare tipo di incontri deve essere ovviamente organizzati in maniera attenta e precisa in modo tale che tu possa avere l’occasione di vivere sulla tua pelle delle esperienze uniche sotto ogni punto di vista.
Tieni ovviamente presente che gli incontri BDSM hanno come protagonista una persona che sia disposta ad affrontare questo particolare genere di pratica senza tirarsi indietro di fronte ad esse.
Come si organizzano gli incontri BDSM
Se vuoi effettuare questo genere di incontri devi necessariamente sfruttare un portale nel quale sarei in grado di trovare una vasta gamma di persone che hanno la tua stessa passione.
Questo genere di ricerca risulta essere leggermente lunga in quanto devi trovare un sito web sicuro con utenti in carne e ossa che ti diano l’occasione di effettuare l’incontro senza che ci possono essere complicazioni di ogni genere.
Effettuare questa ricerca ti consentirà di entrare in un mondo fatto di piacere sessuale anche di dolore che si tramuta in vera e propria passione nel momento in cui si pratica vengono effettuate.
Aggiunge anche il fatto che devi essere sicuro che quella persona sia reale quindi, prima di effettuare un incontro BDSM, devi verificare che non sia solamente un account fittizio creato da coloro che si divertono a prendere in giro il prossimo e la loro voglia di avere questo particolare rapporto.
Grazie a questo genere di ricerca sarai in grado di evitare tutta questa particolare situazione e potrai effettuare un vasto numero di incontri BDSM.
Come si svolgono gli incontri BDSM
Questo genere di incontri, generalmente, si svolge in luoghi dove l’intimità risulta essere al primo posto è sempre presente.
Pertanto potrei prendere parte a questo genere di incontri in particolari Hotel, locale oppure a casa della persona che ha inserito l’annuncio.
Le pratiche che si andranno a consumare saranno tutte differenti tra di loro ed ognuna di esse sarei in grado di farti provare delle emozioni veramente uniche nel suo genere.
Tieni ben presente il fatto che durante questo incontro dovrei sempre mantenere il massimo rispetto nei confronti del partner in modo tale che il rapporto stesso possa concludersi in una maniera assai piacevole e priva di rimorsi.
Questi particolari incontri inoltre saranno in grado di essere caratterizzati dalla presenza già vasta gamma di oggetti che potranno dare un colore completamente differente rispetto a tutti gli altri tipi di rapporti che hai consumato.
Gli incontri BDSM ti faranno provare delle emozioni assai piacevoli e ricordati che anche tu potrai inserire il tuo annuncio per effettuare questo genere di appuntamenti con delle persone che hanno la tua stessa passione che associano al dolore un piacere sessuale veramente intenso e unico.
https://www.miranet.it/incontri-bdsm.php
• ᔕTᗩIᑎᒪEᔕᔕ ᔕTEEᒪ • • • 🄳🄾🄼🄸🄽🄰 🄶🄾🄻🄳🅈 • • #clinical #bdsmlifestyle #bdsm #slave #domination #submissive #followme #dominagoldy #bdsmcommunity #dominatrix #mistress #dominant #bdsmlife #submission #bdsmslave #domina #kinky #plugs #pet #slave #bdsmplay #bdsmrelationship #sub #submissive #painandpleasure #bdsm
martedì 27 novembre 2018
lunedì 26 novembre 2018
Men, Consent, and the BDSM Lie
I just saw that Jian Ghomeshi had an essay published in the New York Review of Books. For those of you not familiar with him, he’s a famous Canadian radio personality. He’s also a famous Canadian sexual predator. Three different women accused him of sexual assault. His defense to the charges was that they had been engaging in consensual “kinky” relationships and had filed charges when the relationships went bad. Not the first time I’ve heard this defense. (Think Eric Schneiderman) These men are supposedly being persecuted by jilted lovers for consensual violent behavior. Hmmm…I see. Let me explain why this is utter bullshit. (This is the point where family or friends who may not want TMI should stop reading.)
One of the very first things you learn in the BDSM community is consent. It’s so vitally important that you get enthusiastic consent for anything you do to someone. A very big part of that is talking before anything ever happens. What are each other’s likes or dislikes? What are soft limits that can be explored? What are hard limits? Every aspect of the relationship or scene if it’s a one-time thing are carefully explored to be sure everyone’s on board and understands what’s going on. We also know that even if it’s all discussed beforehand if anyone’s uncomfortable…everything stops. Just about everyone’s heard of safe words. The idea of having a safe word originated from the BDSM community. Safe, sane, and consensual. Let me tell you, most of the people in the “kinky” community are very careful.
Not to say it’s all perfect. Just about anyone who’s been involved in BDSM has a story of a scene gone wrong. We all have one. My only sexual assault as an adult occurred due to my partner and I not talking nearly as much about things beforehand as we should have. Miscommunication can be a dangerous thing when power dynamics and possible violence is in the mix. I know lots of people, mostly women, who can tell similar stories. While what happened to me legally met the definition of a sexual assault, I didn’t file charges. Why not? Because it was one event in a relationship that was completely consensual even if the situation may not have been. We talked about it later, analyzed how we got there and it actually made our communication better.
This is why I know Ghomeshi wasn’t in a “consensual” BDSM relationship. It sounds much more like he’s a typical abuser who views himself as just being “kinky”. I can’t guess as to whether he believed the women involved might be open to it or not. Regardless, thinking someone might like something and consent are vastly different things. That’s not kinky, that’s assault. Unfortunately, the community is a draw for predatory men who believe all women want a dominant man. I’ve met quite a few who really think that deep down all women “Like it rough”. There certainly are women who do, but being a safe BSDM partner takes sensitivity and open communication. People generally don’t have their partners arrested unless something very bad has happened.
Ghomeshi claiming a consensual relationship puts the onus of proof back onto the victims. It casts immediate doubt on their stories, at least among the vanilla population. Without an understanding of consent and how it works in the community, you can almost believe him. Hence, this post. Consent is situational. Spanking is not choking. Bondage is not beating. But mostly, consent is fluid, it flows both ways. Just because Ghomeshi says he had consent it’s not true unless his partner agrees. He’s just another predatory abuser using the BDSM community as a convenient cover for his sexual assaults. All of us in the community, past or present, need to call this out and let people know the truth. He may claim it, but Jian Ghomeshi is not one of us.
https://thecrankybuddhist.com/2018/09/14/men-consent-and-the-bdsm-lie/
domenica 25 novembre 2018
sabato 24 novembre 2018
venerdì 23 novembre 2018
giovedì 22 novembre 2018
mercoledì 21 novembre 2018
La Padrona ha come sempre il diritto di...
La Padrona ha come sempre il diritto di verificare il lavoro del servitore, correggendolo o punendolo per ogni sbaglio che fa.
La difesa dell'onore, del prestigio e dell'autorevolezza richiede una grande severità nell'insegnamento, più di ogni altra cosa può dare luogo a punizioni ferree e non ultima all'esclusione del servitore stesso, in quanto non idoneo a servire quella Divina Signora.
martedì 20 novembre 2018
lunedì 19 novembre 2018
Parola di dottore: il BDSM ti fa bene
La ricerca si basa su un sondaggio eseguito su 1.336 partecipanti che hanno compilato quattro lunghi questionari psicologici standard centrati su personalita, sensibilità a essere rifiutati, attaccamento relazionale e benessere generale. Secondo una pratica comune in questo tipo di studi nessuno era stato informato di quale fosse il vero oggetto della ricerca: era stato detto solo che si trattasse di qualcosa sul “comportamento umano”.
Benché l’attenzione fosse concentrata su 902 persone reclutate attraverso il più grande sito BDSM dei Paesi Bassi, 434 altre persone sono servete da gruppi di controllo provenienti da tre altri siti di tutt’altro genere: una rivista femminile, un’università e un sito sui segreti personali. Il loro ruolo è stato definire un livello di riferimento col quale confrontare i risultati di chi praticava giochi erotici di dominazione.
Vale la pena ricordare che non si è trattato della prima ricerca sugli amanti del BDSM. Negli ultimi quindici anni ci sono stati diversi altri studi, ma di solito erano stati condotti su gruppi molto piccoli, o si concentravano su situazioni particolarmente estreme (es. la disponibilità a denunciare stupri). Le pubblicazioni precedenti ci avevano comunque detto, riassumendo, che esclusi i sadomasochisti patologici coloro che praticano BDSM sano, sicuro e consensuale corrispondono a un campione trasversale della società, e non mostrano particolari differenze da chi preferisce forme di sessualità più tradizionale. In effetti una ricerca del 2008 di Richters et al. era arrivata a dichiarare addirittura che i praticanti maschi – ma non le femmine! – avevano «probabilità considerevolmente minori di mostrare disturbi psicologici rispetto alla popolazione generale».
Quel che ha scoperto Wismeijer è che chi pratica BDSM conduce nel complesso una vita felice. I dominanti hanno punteggi un po’ migliori dei sottomessi, ma entrambi se la cavano bene almeno quanto i tre gruppi “vanilla”, se non di più. Ancora più interessante è tuttavia il fatto che i primi appaiono sempre più estroversi e coscienziosi della media; mostrano livelli più elevati di benessere, rapporti più solidi con i partner e una migliore salute psicologica generale. I punteggi bassi? Per trovare quelli bisogna consultare le colonne ‘ansietà’ e ‘paura delle critiche’.
Non tutti sono stati disponibili ad accettare risultati tanto inaspettati. Le critiche hanno sottolineato che cercando i propri soggetti fra coloro che vivono la propria passione così bene da partecipare a una comunità online e sono così estroversi da compilare sondaggi tanto approfonditi è naturale ritrovarsi con un campione ideale – e pertanto di poco valore. Io aggiungerei anche che l’Olanda è uno dei paesi più socialmente avanzati, con eccellenti livelli di educazione sessuale e una antica cultura di accettazione delle diversità. Suppongo che condurre la stessa ricerca in nazioni differenti potrebbe produrre risultati abbastanza diversi a causa della riprovazione sociale e internalizzata che vi si trovi ad affrontare chi è interessato al BDSM.
In ogni caso è difficile dissentire dalle osservazioni finali di Wismeijer. «Chi pratica BDSM tende a essere più consapevole dei propri bisogni e desideri sessuali rispetto alla popolazione vanilla» dice «è ciò potrebbe tradursi in minore frustrazione sessuale e relazionale. Venire a patti con predilezioni sessuali insolite e scegliere uno stile di vita di dominazione-sottomissione può inoltre richiedere un intenso lavoro introspettivo che porta a una migliore salute mentale».
Il ricercatore ha perfino dichiarato di non approvare che il BDSM sia ancora incluso nelManuale diagnostico e statistico usato da psichiatri e psicologi per diagnosticare i pazienti – anche se nell’ultima edizione è stato appena declassato da disturbo a semplice parafilia, cioè eccitazione per stimoli insoliti. Se volete scoprirne di più e farvi un’opinione sulla questione, vi consiglio di dare un’occhiata al mio ebook gratuito Nessuna sfumatura di grigio, oppure leggere il saggio assai più approfondito BDSM – Guida per esploratori dell’erotismo estremo.
domenica 18 novembre 2018
sabato 17 novembre 2018
venerdì 16 novembre 2018
• ᔕIᒪEᑎᑕE ᑎOᗯ! • • • 🄳🄾🄼🄸🄽🄰 🄶🄾🄻🄳🅈 • • #chastitykeyholder #malechastitydevice #gaychastity #malechastity #chastitytraining #chastitylife #sissychastity #chastitycage #chastitybelts #chastitylove #chastityboy #chastityslave #chastitybelt #chastitydevice #dominagoldy #bdsm #blindfolded #sissy #sissification
giovedì 15 novembre 2018
Servire la Signora...
Molti servitori verrebbero arrivare a servire la Divina Signora proprio nei suoi momenti più intimi, ma questo è un privilegio molto alto che deve essere conquistato lavorando duramente ed acquistando fiducia agli occhi della Signora.
mercoledì 14 novembre 2018
How to get your Sub in subspace, a guide for beginners
Although everyone into the BDSM scene has heard of endorphins, actually very, very few people really understand what they are, how they work, what the “high” is all about and how one can correctly induce the body to produce them. This short primer will answer those questions, and serve as a guide for anyone topping another so that they may successfully send their bottom into a very deep endorphin stupor! (Also known as leaving them in a big puddle of quivering ecstasy!)
The endorphin high is caused by a bunch of natural, morphine-like chemicals the body pumps into your brain to reduce your sensitivity to pain (thus raising your pain threshold.) The fact that the body seems to release these endorphins in measured ‘loads’ is a key to understanding how to ‘play’ the body to produce these 'loads’ and 'release’ them into the body and brain region when the 'load’ is ready. One has to keep in mind that another chemical – adrenalin – is also produced by the body in reaction to pain, and its behavior should be understood also. This is covered later more thoroughly in the section at the end on aftercare – which is a VERY essential element in guaranteeing the success of the effort, as you will see.
The endorphin 'loads’ as they are available in the body are released in their entirety, and after a 'load’ is released, it takes the body about ten minutes to generate the chemicals for another one. After the body has been induced to release (or 'inject’) a 'load’ into the system, you must then continue stimulating the body for at least ten minutes in some manner before the body will be ready to release another one. This stimulation can be just about anything – sensation play, light paddling or flogging, light caning, etc. – and it does not have to be intense or even nearly match the intensity of stimulation that had caused the release of the last 'load.’
Once prepared, an increase in stimulation over a five minute span up to a measured 'climax’ will trigger the body to release the freshly prepared 'load’ (based upon the submissive’s current pain threshold, “measured” to push them over a new edge.)
So, armed with this information, what does a session look like from the top’s and bottom’s point of view? This should break it down for you.
When a scene first starts, there are no endorphins in the submissive, and even fairly light torment is very stingy, ouchy, and, well, painful! There is an endorphin reserve already in place that is awaiting release into one’s body in case of an emergency, and after just a few minutes of even relatively mild stimulation building to a mild climax, this reserve 'load’ is released, and suddenly the pain threshold clearly rises and the subject can easily tolerate what earlier may have been pushing their limits, making them jump around and squirm, for instance.
This new, more pain tolerant state is Level One. There is no altered state of consciousness yet – but there is an increased pain threshold.
Once this has happened, for the top it’s basically just about treading water for ten minutes and doing anything that provides relatively light but constant stimulation to induce the bottom’s body to prepare/create their next 'load’ for release. This is a good time for sensation play, or light paddling, flogging or whipping – and since the only requirement is that it remain fairly constant stimulation, it is a chance for the top to relax for a bit, since the stimulation can be very mild and be easy and relaxing to apply during this time.
Once the ten minutes has passed, a build in intensity over a subsequent five minute period will excite the body to a peak, and a sudden 10–15 seconds or so of intense stimulation just beyond the person’s current pain threshold limit will trigger the body to eject its freshly made, current load into the bloodstream. Now the bottom will be at Level Two – with still no perceivable altered state of consciousness (beyond panting in relief that you, the top, have ceased with the intense bit!), but there is a considerable and noticeable leap in pain threshold now.
Following this, again, ten minutes of mild, easy stimulation to provoke the body into generating the next load as quickly as possible. Keep this well below the pain threshold you’ve now created, with just a little intense whack, etc. every so often, about a minute apart. This will keep the adrenalin build up to a minimum, for reasons explained later on. Take it easy, tops, relax, rest that arm and wrist a bit! Then, this relaxing ten minutes is followed with five minutes of building the intensity again to well above the previous level, as the bottom’s pain threshold is pretty high already now and they can take a lot more before the body interprets this as being 'in crisis’ and thus triggers the endorphins’ release. Finished off with 10–15 seconds (up to a minute) of a real intense, over the edge push, and the body will inject that next load.
Now at Level Three, the bottom will definitely feel a little bit 'woozy’ — exhibiting a “mildly drugged” state. Their eyelids should become heavier seeming, and they will fall into a more relaxed condition than before, with more low moans and groans, and with their inhibitions becoming more relaxed. Again, applying ten minutes of any relatively mild stimulation (don’t have to work hard, tops!), followed by a five minute build to a 10–15 second intense climax now that is WELL beyond the previous one, will result in the next endorphin “load” being released to push the bottom into a very nice Level Four head space.
At this Level Four state, there will be a very definite altered state of consciousness in evidence, and the bottom will feel clearly drugged and will be very compliant and submissive now. This is countered, however, by the largest charges of adrenalin they have received so far (from the intense climax just used to push them over this “edge”), so they are still quite communicative and their reaction time is still quick (even hypersensitive – a small whack with a paddle, cane or whip can now generate a huge amount of twitching or jerking of the subject’s body with certain bottoms.) Now, during the ten minute 'treading water’ period for the top, the moans and groans will be longer and deeper, the body often limp in it’s restraints, and the reactions to the occasional harder 'strikes’ will be obvious and even somewhat amplified. This is the tops finest time – they can still relax and obviously not be exerting themselves very hard, yet produce fine moans of ecstasy from their bottom with hardly any provocation! The pain threshold is high, even if the reaction time is increased due to the adrenalin, so harder occasional strikes are welcomed, and the reactions are certainly encouraging!
After this ten minute “endorphin replenishment” period, now it is important to be very sensitive to the limit levels crossed earlier, as you begin that five minute build in intensity that will end in the most intense limit pushing you might do with the bottom for this session (if you are stopping at level five). The bottom will have a very high pain threshold at this time, but also will be fairly groggy (in spite of the adrenalin-fueled reaction times) and less able to communicate their safe word – in fact, will now be so compliant that it is very UNLIKELY that they would use it even if they should do so! So, push this “grand finale” with finesse and sensitivity to what is going on with your bottom! At the other end of the 10–30 second climactic build in intensity – in a wonderful blast – this latest endorphin load will push the bottom into Level Five: a state of supreme ecstasy, docility, and the ability to take just about anything you could throw at them. They will become very limp and relaxed very suddenly – and be very clearly in an altered state of consciousness now.
This is the point most people end the scene and remove the bottom to cloak them in a blanket and begin the all-important aftercare … and unless you know your bottom extremely well, this is where the session should end. However, for those in that category of knowing their bottom’s limits and abilities quite well, the rules and timing are the same as with the earlier segments. Now, your 'mild’ stimulation could be fairly intense if you wanted it to be, and the bottom will become extremely submissive – and receptive – and accepting of any amount of stimulation you could lay on them. This is a dangerous condition, because there is NO WAY a person will utter a safe word in this condition – they can barely talk at all! So, it is best to keep the stimulation relatively intense but not too too (Note: the stronger intensity applied now will hold up the adrenalin levels, and the combination with the elevated endorphins levels creates a condition of intense excitement and of simultaneously intense ecstatic relaxation for the bottom, so they’ll be into receiving whatever is being doled out. More on adrenalin in a minute, though!) Again, finish off after the ten minutes with a building in intensity to one beyond that reached earlier, with a 10–15 second extreme point, and the next 'load’ will be released. So, now we have brought the bottom to a very amazing Level Six! (But, again, this should only be attempted with a bottom whose limits and abilities are already very well known! The top is working without the benefit of safe words being utterable, in most cases by this time, so care must be exercised this whole while.)
With all the adrenalin now in the body – as well as the complete release of inhibitions from the heavy dosing of endorphins now in their brain – behavior of the bottom can become unpredictable at this point, and you should be prepared to restrain against some wild thrashing and arm flailing that could take place (at least be out of harm’s way!) The person/bottom is going to be in such an intensely altered state of consciousness now that their reactions could possibly be of an extremely primitive nature, and they may be capable of only 'animal-like’ noises and reactions, and no or very little recognizable speech. So, watch out! Following this reasoning, approach the subject as you would a wild animal – very gently, talking soothingly and gesturing in a calming manner. Be prepared for sudden wild jerking, or seeming attempts to 'get away.’ And don’t take it personally! At Level Six, this person is totally ga-ga! Be assured, they are enjoying every millisecond of this experience! And a very long period of dreaminess is now in store for them – if their aftercare is handled properly!
So, why do I go on and on about the aftercare? The work of putting endorphins into the subject’s body is finished, right? Well, yes, but you have also succeeded in putting very, very large amounts of adrenalin into their system, and adrenalin is tricky stuff. Even at Level Four, aftercare is important now because of they way adrenalin burns off – it burns off very quickly – compared to endorphins, which burn off very slowly. At Level Five or Level Six, there is enough adrenalin in the body that it will take 10 to 20 minutes for it to burn off (even up to half an hour!), and during this time, the bottom very likely will experience a number of adrenalin 'crashes’ (similar in a way to coffee jags), and some of these can be very intense — and even quite frightening! They will need to be kept warm and be held and comforted AT LEAST throughout this period of adrenalin burn-off. My feeling is that if you don’t care enough for the bottom to enjoy cuddling and caressing with them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn’t be taking them to any Level Six endorphin/adrenalin levels! (Or even perhaps to a Level Four!)
https://friskybusinessboutique.com/the-endorphin-levels-in-bdsm/
The endorphin high is caused by a bunch of natural, morphine-like chemicals the body pumps into your brain to reduce your sensitivity to pain (thus raising your pain threshold.) The fact that the body seems to release these endorphins in measured ‘loads’ is a key to understanding how to ‘play’ the body to produce these 'loads’ and 'release’ them into the body and brain region when the 'load’ is ready. One has to keep in mind that another chemical – adrenalin – is also produced by the body in reaction to pain, and its behavior should be understood also. This is covered later more thoroughly in the section at the end on aftercare – which is a VERY essential element in guaranteeing the success of the effort, as you will see.
The endorphin 'loads’ as they are available in the body are released in their entirety, and after a 'load’ is released, it takes the body about ten minutes to generate the chemicals for another one. After the body has been induced to release (or 'inject’) a 'load’ into the system, you must then continue stimulating the body for at least ten minutes in some manner before the body will be ready to release another one. This stimulation can be just about anything – sensation play, light paddling or flogging, light caning, etc. – and it does not have to be intense or even nearly match the intensity of stimulation that had caused the release of the last 'load.’
Once prepared, an increase in stimulation over a five minute span up to a measured 'climax’ will trigger the body to release the freshly prepared 'load’ (based upon the submissive’s current pain threshold, “measured” to push them over a new edge.)
So, armed with this information, what does a session look like from the top’s and bottom’s point of view? This should break it down for you.
When a scene first starts, there are no endorphins in the submissive, and even fairly light torment is very stingy, ouchy, and, well, painful! There is an endorphin reserve already in place that is awaiting release into one’s body in case of an emergency, and after just a few minutes of even relatively mild stimulation building to a mild climax, this reserve 'load’ is released, and suddenly the pain threshold clearly rises and the subject can easily tolerate what earlier may have been pushing their limits, making them jump around and squirm, for instance.
This new, more pain tolerant state is Level One. There is no altered state of consciousness yet – but there is an increased pain threshold.
Once this has happened, for the top it’s basically just about treading water for ten minutes and doing anything that provides relatively light but constant stimulation to induce the bottom’s body to prepare/create their next 'load’ for release. This is a good time for sensation play, or light paddling, flogging or whipping – and since the only requirement is that it remain fairly constant stimulation, it is a chance for the top to relax for a bit, since the stimulation can be very mild and be easy and relaxing to apply during this time.
Following this, again, ten minutes of mild, easy stimulation to provoke the body into generating the next load as quickly as possible. Keep this well below the pain threshold you’ve now created, with just a little intense whack, etc. every so often, about a minute apart. This will keep the adrenalin build up to a minimum, for reasons explained later on. Take it easy, tops, relax, rest that arm and wrist a bit! Then, this relaxing ten minutes is followed with five minutes of building the intensity again to well above the previous level, as the bottom’s pain threshold is pretty high already now and they can take a lot more before the body interprets this as being 'in crisis’ and thus triggers the endorphins’ release. Finished off with 10–15 seconds (up to a minute) of a real intense, over the edge push, and the body will inject that next load.
Now at Level Three, the bottom will definitely feel a little bit 'woozy’ — exhibiting a “mildly drugged” state. Their eyelids should become heavier seeming, and they will fall into a more relaxed condition than before, with more low moans and groans, and with their inhibitions becoming more relaxed. Again, applying ten minutes of any relatively mild stimulation (don’t have to work hard, tops!), followed by a five minute build to a 10–15 second intense climax now that is WELL beyond the previous one, will result in the next endorphin “load” being released to push the bottom into a very nice Level Four head space.
After this ten minute “endorphin replenishment” period, now it is important to be very sensitive to the limit levels crossed earlier, as you begin that five minute build in intensity that will end in the most intense limit pushing you might do with the bottom for this session (if you are stopping at level five). The bottom will have a very high pain threshold at this time, but also will be fairly groggy (in spite of the adrenalin-fueled reaction times) and less able to communicate their safe word – in fact, will now be so compliant that it is very UNLIKELY that they would use it even if they should do so! So, push this “grand finale” with finesse and sensitivity to what is going on with your bottom! At the other end of the 10–30 second climactic build in intensity – in a wonderful blast – this latest endorphin load will push the bottom into Level Five: a state of supreme ecstasy, docility, and the ability to take just about anything you could throw at them. They will become very limp and relaxed very suddenly – and be very clearly in an altered state of consciousness now.
This is the point most people end the scene and remove the bottom to cloak them in a blanket and begin the all-important aftercare … and unless you know your bottom extremely well, this is where the session should end. However, for those in that category of knowing their bottom’s limits and abilities quite well, the rules and timing are the same as with the earlier segments. Now, your 'mild’ stimulation could be fairly intense if you wanted it to be, and the bottom will become extremely submissive – and receptive – and accepting of any amount of stimulation you could lay on them. This is a dangerous condition, because there is NO WAY a person will utter a safe word in this condition – they can barely talk at all! So, it is best to keep the stimulation relatively intense but not too too (Note: the stronger intensity applied now will hold up the adrenalin levels, and the combination with the elevated endorphins levels creates a condition of intense excitement and of simultaneously intense ecstatic relaxation for the bottom, so they’ll be into receiving whatever is being doled out. More on adrenalin in a minute, though!) Again, finish off after the ten minutes with a building in intensity to one beyond that reached earlier, with a 10–15 second extreme point, and the next 'load’ will be released. So, now we have brought the bottom to a very amazing Level Six! (But, again, this should only be attempted with a bottom whose limits and abilities are already very well known! The top is working without the benefit of safe words being utterable, in most cases by this time, so care must be exercised this whole while.)
With all the adrenalin now in the body – as well as the complete release of inhibitions from the heavy dosing of endorphins now in their brain – behavior of the bottom can become unpredictable at this point, and you should be prepared to restrain against some wild thrashing and arm flailing that could take place (at least be out of harm’s way!) The person/bottom is going to be in such an intensely altered state of consciousness now that their reactions could possibly be of an extremely primitive nature, and they may be capable of only 'animal-like’ noises and reactions, and no or very little recognizable speech. So, watch out! Following this reasoning, approach the subject as you would a wild animal – very gently, talking soothingly and gesturing in a calming manner. Be prepared for sudden wild jerking, or seeming attempts to 'get away.’ And don’t take it personally! At Level Six, this person is totally ga-ga! Be assured, they are enjoying every millisecond of this experience! And a very long period of dreaminess is now in store for them – if their aftercare is handled properly!
So, why do I go on and on about the aftercare? The work of putting endorphins into the subject’s body is finished, right? Well, yes, but you have also succeeded in putting very, very large amounts of adrenalin into their system, and adrenalin is tricky stuff. Even at Level Four, aftercare is important now because of they way adrenalin burns off – it burns off very quickly – compared to endorphins, which burn off very slowly. At Level Five or Level Six, there is enough adrenalin in the body that it will take 10 to 20 minutes for it to burn off (even up to half an hour!), and during this time, the bottom very likely will experience a number of adrenalin 'crashes’ (similar in a way to coffee jags), and some of these can be very intense — and even quite frightening! They will need to be kept warm and be held and comforted AT LEAST throughout this period of adrenalin burn-off. My feeling is that if you don’t care enough for the bottom to enjoy cuddling and caressing with them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn’t be taking them to any Level Six endorphin/adrenalin levels! (Or even perhaps to a Level Four!)
https://friskybusinessboutique.com/the-endorphin-levels-in-bdsm/
martedì 13 novembre 2018
lunedì 12 novembre 2018
Aftercare
Aftercare refers specifically to the attention given to a partner (usually the bottom) at the end of a Scene. Aftercare often includes the Top utilizing various pampering techniques on the Bottom in an effort to provide comfort to everyone after having an intense experience that can leave an individual, top or bottom, in a vulnerable state, but this is not always the case.
Prior to a scene, different people will have different requirements to express during negotiations for aftercare. The amount and type of aftercare required will also likely vary with frequency of play, closeness of play partners, types of scenes, relationship dynamics, fantasy elements at play, intensity of the scene and the overall head space and physical well being of the bottom before, during and after the scene. Be sure to set any boundaries or requirements of aftercare on both sides as part of negotiations.
Contents [hide]
1 Benefits of Aftercare
2 Best Practices: Standard Aftercare
2.1 Aftercare for the Top
2.2 Babysitters
2.3 After-Aftercare
3 Criticisms
4 Shop
Benefits of Aftercare
Aftercare is used primarily to not only ensure the partner feels safe and secure, but can also be a wonderful exercise for the aftercare provider as well, further, the nurturing and bonding that occurs helps to reduce the effects of or even eliminate Drop entirely for many individuals. For some, a lack of aftercare can be detrimental not only psychologically, but also physically.
Best Practices: Standard Aftercare
After care will vary, sometimes drastically, between individuals and thus there is no one correct method of aftercare, nor necessarily an incorrect method either, however what is presented is a great template to use for a typical first time partner for a typical SM scene.
- Negotiate Aftercare before the scene starts. Discuss what the needs of both parties are and come to mutual agreement.
- Perform the Scene.
- At the end of the scene, the top will ensure they enter a nurturing state of mind to care for the bottom. The bottom will ensure that if they happen to be mentally alert that they will take on a caring and appreciative frame of mind.
- The top will disinfect and dress any wounds the bottom may have and remove restrictive bondage, debris, and harmful materials from the bottom. When removing a blindfold from a bottom consider doing this slowly and with warning, or perhaps leaving it on for the time being so as not to shock the bottom with assaulting bright lights.
- The bottom will be safely guided/moved to a comfortable and warm location such as a nearby couch (not a cold cement floor).
- The top will then place blankets upon the bottom as the body temperature will soon drop. If the bottom is very warm at that moment, consider using a breathable blanket for now, such as something crocheted and then adding more warmth as their body temperature begins to decline.
- The top will have clean water nearby. Consider having this able to be drank with a straw as the motor skills of the bottom may be impaired if the scene was particularly intense and using a straw may prevent spilling of fluids. The top will not force the water on the bottom but instead offer "Would you like a drink of water?" and present the water, allowing that the bottom may drink when they are ready.
- The top will provide subtle and soft positive verbal reinforcement to help guide the bottom into a feeling of peace and serenity.
- The top will provide occasional touch to skin that was not used during the scene on the head, limbs and back of the bottom, tracing the fingers lightly along the skin as gentle as one might touch their own face with only enough force to feel it. These areas of skin may be considered hyper sensitive and touch should be intermittent and not used to torture but instead to relax.
- The top will offer chocolate to the bottom (providing they not have a medical condition that forbids it) to help increase blood sugar as well as release Oxytocin.
- The top will continue providing continued yet intermittent positive reinforcement and nurturing touch. The top will stay with the bottom until they are relatively awake, alert, able to care for themselves and in a good head space. The top will not leave the bottom alone to feel abandoned or to fall accidentally.
- Both will ensure the other is in a positive frame of mind before leaving the other.
Aftercare for the Top
Tops may experience a level of drop as well as bottoms, though it is less common. Ultimately the top is still required to care for the bottom during aftercare and thus it is unwise that a top should not play harder than what would allow them to acceptably care for the bottom's condition. If this is a known disturbance to play/aftercare then a third party to provide aftercare should be arranged for.Principles of aftercare are largely similar for tops as they are to bottoms as described above, though some principles may not apply or need to be creatively adapted. As with bottoms, specific desires and requirements will vary drastically between individuals. See also Dom Burnout.
Babysitters
Sometimes for one reason or another a top may not be able to commit large amounts of time to aftercare and a bottom may crave extensive time for this, sometimes even up to several hours of aftercare after an intense scene. Best Practices indicate it is important that a top generally spend the first five to fifteen minutes or so doing some form of aftercare in these circumstances so that an immediate feeling of abandonment does not set in, and that they have prenegotiated use of a babysitter before the scene. The babysitter will be an agreed upon person trusted by both parties to provide additional aftercare for the bottom once the top is required to leave.
After-Aftercare
Both Sub drop and Top drop are very real conditions that can result from an intense scene sometimes between one to three days from the scene itself. Sub drop, however, is far more common in practice.
Responsible aftercare doesn't just end shortly after the scene, but extends over that period of 1-3 days.
To ensure the safety of everyone, the two will agree to a form of outreach as part of aftercare for the scene and during that outreach, report honorably and with integrity any abnormal deviations, bad moods/attitudes, feelings about the scene, misgivings about the scene, and anything else that might be relevant. This also helps with enhancing communication and trust between the two parties and avoid the pitfalls of poor communication or lack of communication after a scene that can lead to toxic gossip and character assassination.
In the case a negative mood swing occurs and is reported, one will call or meet with the other casually to provide support and counsel as they are able, or help them find someone who can in the instance that they are unable.
Criticisms
Many do not wish to embrace typical aftercare methods. Some would prefer time alone, while others would prefer not be touched at all, and others would like some form of Humiliation or Degradation as aftercare to constitute part of their fantasy. There is no one right way to participate in aftercare, but it is important to negotiate aftercare well before a scene occurs to create mutually beneficial and consensual agreement about how aftercare is to take place.
http://bdsmwiki.info/Aftercare
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